Sexy Deviled Turkey

Hello all. I have great news.

I JUST COOKED THE SEXIEST TURKEY EVER. It is a foodgasm all over your mouth.

It's a modified recipe for Deviled Turkey, with substitutions made for things that I was out of with things I actually had on hand. So here it is. THIS RECIPE IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Sexy Deviled Turkey,
or the Fowl Succubus

Ingredients:
1 10-12 lb. turkey or four large turkey breasts
1 bottle Jack Daniels' Old No. 7 Mustard
2 Tbsp Italian Seasoning Blend
1 1/2 Tbsp dried bay leaves
1 Tbsp salt
1/2 Tbsp Black Pepper
3 tsp Celery Salt
2 tsp Dried Parsley leaves
1/2 tsp Allspice
1/2 tsp Red Cayenne Pepper


Preheat oven to 375 degrees unless you plan to let turkey marinate overnight.

Bathe and dry turkey lovingly, caressing the carcass with gentle strokes, exploring its perfect body as you do so, taking note of which places you most wish to worship with your mouth later on. Once you feel you have satisfactorily lulled her into a calm, anticipatory state, move on to your selected spices.

Measure out all dry spices into a bowl, then stir well. Enjoy for a moment the delightful scent of this melange, and then turn your attentions yet again to your beautiful nude avian goddess, laying supine before you in her roasting pan.

Rub her body liberally with Jack Daniels mustard. She may become anxious; soothe her with words of love and promises of pleasure once the preparations are complete.

Sprinkle prepared seasonings liberally over the mustard-coated beauty, and then insert the remaining mixture into her cavity, blessing her completely with an enticing aroma.


Add to her roasting pan about a cup of water, and place her within the oven for about three hours, occasionally taking a moment to ladle the contents of her steaming bath over her body. when she is finally ready to give her flesh to you, her internal temperature will be approximately 180 degrees Fahrenheit. But you must still be patient; she requires at least fifteen minutes to further prepare herself for you, lest her body be far too hot. After these fifteen minutes, she is ready, beckoning you to come and taste of her succulent juices.

Prolonged Absence, my apologies.

Sorry folks! Life, travel, and health problems got the better of me for a little while there. Rest assured I've been following my schedule and updating my to do list to the best of my ability in spite of various interruptions.

It's important to note that there will be a new crochet pattern this month, but it might not be the viking hat, because I have little time to work on it. Viking hat will get done, I promise, but Senor Safety will probably come first. In the meantime, donations would be considered very helpful, to aid in the server cost. If you'd like to help out, you can paypal any amount to stepford.boyfriend@gmail.com.

So I want to tell you about something that happened to me over the weekend, because it's a first for me and worth noting: My owner rented me out!

It's probably not as exciting as you think; A friend of ours approached my owner asking to rent my services as a housekeeping robot for a reasonable hourly fee. Nothing even remotely sexy happened. I cleaned her kitchen and downstairs bathroom, and she gave me lunch and paid me for my work.

What's remarkable about this is that our friend approached my owner with proper D/s ettiquette, and handled it as if it was a D/s sort of arrangement, in spite of it being only for domestic services. Becase of how it was handled, however, I felt really fantastic about it. I enjoyed doing it. I love this sort of structure, and I love being appreciated for my work.

I'm supposed to go back tomorrow to do some more!