On discpline

My owner asked me this morning to make a post about the necessity of punishment, and how we in particular handle it, which is of course different from a lot of D/s couples.

The first thing I'd like to say is something of a repeat of my last post. As a submissive, specifically one who is focused on the betterment of self rather than just having a good time, and also due to my own unique emotional needs, I really require some sort of punishment when I make a mistake. It makes me feel worse to not have that, because then the guilt I carry around for messing up just stays with me and never ends. It would honestly be very unethical for my owner to not administer some sort of punishment because what I do to myself in my own head is way worse.

My owner does not enjoy punishing me, and has no desire nor does he derive enjoyment from hurting me. This implies "hurt" in an emotional or psychological way, as opposed to other interpretations that do not apply due to the fact that I actually enjoy them. What he does enjoy is seeing me grow and learn, and the method which we use for my discipline has been jointly developed by both of us to bring about the results that we would BOTH like to see - a stopping point for my self imposed guilt, and a concrete intent to do better next time. I love my owner very much, and I don't want to ever give him a reason to be upset in any way, so I do my best to make sure that there's rarely a need for me to be disciplined. When I have to be, though, I know that I need it, for many reasons. In that sense, I want it. Because without discipline two things would occur: I would continue to feel incredibly guilty for whatever it was I had done wrong, and I wouldn't have the opportunity to improve upon myself in a concrete way as to not make the same mistake again.

To elaborate on the issue of my guilt - my owner's forgiveness, while still very important, doesn't fix it completely. The method that we use is intended to allow me to forgive myself, by paying some form of immediate penance.

I'd also like it to be known that we are not a D/s couple just for fun. The dynamic that we have and the way we've tailored it to our situation is for our mutual benefit. Living and operating in this manner has and will continue to be a way for me to improve myself and the quality of my owner's life.

Nothing about the way my owner Doms me has anything to do with a power trip or an ego boost. He handles me in this manner because he loves me and wants me to be the best version of myself possible, and I wholeheartedly agree with this desire. What he needs from me is support and asisstance in many areas of his own life so that he too can be at his best. I love my owner very much, and I'm very glad to be in his care and service. I can't imagine that there'd be anyone else in the world who would have even an inkling as to what to do with me. I honestly don't trust any other Doms. I shouldn't, anyway, because they're not my Doms, but the way I in particular need a Dom to be in order to be a good, healthy sub is exactly how my owner is - loving and compassionate in every way, even if I've been bad, and always with my best interests in mind. I am never abused or misused in any way, and every task assigned to me is always within my physical and emotional capabilities, even if it is challenging. All he wants of me is the best of me, and all I want from him is knowing that he's happy and comfortable and will always take good care of me in exchange for my effort.

I'm getting kind of mushy and flowery over this aren't I?

Well, coming soon, there will be posts on the following topics:
-Special Needs submissives; subs with physical, emotional, psychological and mental disabilities can be great subs too if you know how to take care of them and emphasize what they CAN do over what they can't. More on this later.
-A detailed post of my revised daily schedule that my owner is in the process of making for me.

Thanks for reading!